things i will do, things i probably won’t

what my writing friends can expect from me (based on the stats not the intentions) . . .

i will go to your annual lit fest, but i probably won’t go to your monthly reading series

i will read your ms, but i won’t read the rewrite

i will buy your book, but I might not push past the first chapter if there isn’t a dead body in it

i will appreciate your reading recommendations, but I won’t read those books

i will use your work in my classes, but I won’t invite you to speak

i will put you up in my home office, but i will not save you from my my cats and dogs

i’ll find someone to pick you up from the airport, but i won’t take you myself

no poetry, no screenplays

i’ll try to get you to buy a cabin near mine in wv, but i’ll rarely come over to your real house

if i do come over to your house i’ll leave early

i’ll pick up the check, but no appetizers or dessert, okay?

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