Stick me on a body farm. Preferably with some clothing. Underpants at the very least. I’d like to be left in a somewhat shady area, under a tall tree or a tarp. Instead of bare dirt, leave me on something: grass, a stained mattress, flattened cardboard. Maybe something to mock a serial killer’s dump site. I don’t mind if my body is used to study bug infiltration, like how maggots can help predict time. I’m not okay with my body being used to study wild animal predatation and bone/body scatter, so maybe my rest site could be fenced. If the study is lacking in this arena, my body could go into a large bag. Maybe a shallow body of water. If need be, I’m okay with ligatures around my ankles and wrists, but not my neck. No post mortum cutting or burning, if possible. Post mortum bone breaking is okay. Pose me as needed to help study rigor mortis, just not face down, please. When this is all done, let me go to bones there and learn as it all happens.
Tara Dwyer will hold your hand when you get your bum tattooed.