Lately I’ve been thinking about forgiveness – not forgiveness for my
acts (though I certainly need it), but for those who have wronged me.
When I face my last few seconds, all I want is resolution to all the
anger I’ve been carrying with me all my life, and I believe I could
find it through forgiveness. I’ve never imagined my deathbed without
seeing the faces of my parents, my lovers, my former best friends
crowded around me, their faces fixed in an attitude of relief and
grief.
I don’t know why I can’t imagine finding that forgiveness before those
last few moments. Or why I refuse to wish for forgiveness to happen
before those moments. Or why I’m not more selfless or appropriate by
wishing for forgiveness for what I’ve done. I don’t know. But this is
my wish.
Annie Noble is a poet turned law student who writes almost nothing these days but blind-graded essays. She will graduate in May 2012, unless her Death Wish gets granted.